Back in the Saddle - Date #1

So, I've gotten to a point where I have realized that I would really appreciate having a good man in my life. I've had these revelations at other times, but I think now I realize that at 32, I need to figure out what it is I really want in a guy and go find him.

So, to aid in my pursuit of adding a quality man to the play list of my life, I subscribed to match.com. I've been on and off the online dating web sites for several years, trying Yahoo! personals, eHarmony and match.com. You can post profiles for free, but in order to communicate with other people, you need to pay the $$$$. So, I paid for a 3-months subscription at the start of December.

My attitude going into this stint on match.com is to take it slow. I also stated this in my profile. Other things I mentioned in my profile that I hope will filter out some sketchy guys are that I'm not looking for a casual fling and that when the time and person is right, I look forward to being married and having a family. I think that is a good way to tell men who might be checking me out.

I update my profile weekly by telling what is going on that week/weekend. I've gotten some pretty good responses and a lot of the men fit into the categories of the type of guy I'm seeking: Single, 27-37, no kids, employed, decent looking and active. So I feel that my profile is working to weed out most guys who don't fit my stats.

Of course, you still get the wierdos who think your preferences don't apply to them. They even TELL you they read your profile! If they really READ my profile, they wouldn't be contacting me at all. They would know that they won't get a match. But they still email. Who? There's the 52 year old high school counselor who looks 68. And the guy with 3 kids and has no time to date. And the guy who's profile is nothing more than how busy he is with work and has no social life. If you can't create a good life on your own, how do you think adding a woman to the mix will help?

So after reading all this, you must be wondering...WHAT ABOUT THE DATE?

Well, I did have my first date. His name is Chris. We'd been emailing and talking on the phone for 3 or 4 weeks. We originally had our first date two weeks beforehand but I canceled when I got sick with a cold. So we rescheduled for this past Thursday.

Chris invited me to dinner at Agave's at 8pm. I've been to this place before and always enjoy it. We met at the door and he looked like his pictures! Thank God!

Anyone who has online dated know that this is always the first test: do they look like their pictures? With many online daters guilty of posting pictures from 5-10-15-20 years ago (depending on age) of their slimmer trimmer and younger days, it's nerve wracking to meet in person and see that they lost all their hair and that their waist line has expanded by 6-8 inches. For me, if they look nothing like their pictures, it's a done deal. There will never be a second date. And the first date will be very short. Misrepresentation by putting up old pictures is equivalent to lying in my book. And who wants to start anything with a liar?

Chris is a cute guy. So that much was established in the first 30 seconds. The rest of the night was to determine if his personality was as nice.

We had dinner and drinks. It was really nice. Conversation flowed and he is very friendly. Laughs and smiles a lot. Found out over dinner that his family and sibling live in the Hartford area. He is one of 5 or 6 siblings. He was in the Navy for five years and lived out on the west coast. He's back here in CT and is roommates with is brother.

To tell you the truth, much of dinner is a blur, but I think that is sometimes the case when dates are really relaxed and just have a good flow to them. I remember what I ordered (the mussells are excellent). The bill came. And that is always akward. I like a guy to treat, at least on the first date, but at some point, when you're online dating, the first date isn't a date, just a meeting. If you get asked out again, then it's a date. It's wierd. Everyone has their own way of working it. Causes for some odd moments at times.

We continued talking with the bill at our elbows. I wasn't going to reach for it. I wanted to see what he would do. I think he expected to stay at Agave's for another drink but conversation steered towards going to check out some other places that I haven't been to yet, so he grabbed for the check. I had my wallet in hand and asked how much my half was but he insisted on treating. That was very nice of him. I told him since he bought dinner I would buy drinks and he kind of waved it off.

We took the Hartford Star Shuttle to the new convention center and Marriot. The place was beautiful. It was my first time there and it reminds me of the hotels in Vegas. We planned on going to Crush, this cool new bar in the Marriot. We got there and they were charging a $15 cover charge on a Thursday night! Why? Because they had a "light show". Are you kidding me? This is Hartford, not NYC! And a light show?! I'll pay 15 bucks for a good live band, but not a bunch of lights flashiing on the walls and ceilings. And there was practically no one in the bar. No thanks.

We walked back up to 960 Main Street. It's the same building that Capital Community College is housed in. There are two new places in there that I haven't been to: Mezzanine and Room 960. We went to Mezzanine first and that place is very cool. It's like someone really tricked out rec room with great lights, tables, chairs and couches. It didn't feel like a bar, it was definately a lounge. Walked in and this nice lady all dolled up a la 40's style asked us what we'd like to drink. It felt like a private cocktail party. We sat down and she went over their wine list. We got to sample 4 wines between the two of us before we settled on a glass each. We sat there and it was nice...quiet jazz in the back ground. People laughing and chatting softly in small groups scattered throughout the space. I'd definately go back there again. Chris and I chatted about work, he told funny stories and I told dirty jokes. It's pretty nice when people don't seem hung up on making cemented first impressions. Someone non-judgemental is a definately requirement in any guy I end up with. At least so far, it seems that Chris may be this type of person.

We stopped into Room 960. Again, pretty dead. It is very NYC loft apartmentish. Pretty cool but suprisingly small space. I'd check it out again if I have the chance.

We ended up at Vaughn's. Another bar I hadn't been to yet. Very Irish Pub atmosphere. I ended up having an Irish Coffee and Chris helped himself to draft. I put down my credit card to open a tab but Chris again paid. He actually paid for the whole evening. He said that people at work call him the rock star...cause he tours a bunch of different places when he goes out. He pointed out that he had a slight unibrow (like 5 hairs!)...and I told him that he could just wax it. He said he'd never do that...There was a bit of good-natured ribbing and a little flirting. Just enough to make it fun and laugh. We checked the time and it was 1 a.m.! The time really did fly!

Chris walked me to my car. Quite the gentleman. Gave me a nice hug and I gave him a kiss on the cheek.

I emailed him when I got home that I had a good time. I knew he was gone to NYC the next day but I got an email back from him today that he'd like to go out again. So, hey...we shall see what happens!