Mt Snow 1/27-1/29

Well, I was all by my lonesome for a weekend at Mt. Snow. Regina bailed because she had too much due in her grad classes and Lisa just moved so was short in the pocket.

I packed my car up and was on the road by 3pm. The roads were dry all the way up and the sky clear. I had great light all the way there and it was a beautiful and scenic drive up. I got to the house at about 5:30pm. NO ONE was there. It was strange to be the first one there and have to unlock the door. I was so tired, and sick with a sinus infection. I unloaded the car, got all my gear up two flights of stairs and then reheated leftovers for dinner. I then camped out on the couch, falling asleep to the TV.

At about 9:30pm I woke up and still no one at the house. I watched some more TV, and people started arriving at 11pm. From then on, it was people streaming in.

Rachel was the first to arrive with Deborah and friend/guest Heather. Jen Mac showed up next followed by Mike and Jason. Then it was Brian and guest Patrick and Christian and his three guests. In all, we had five beds empty. And lots of guests.

Jen Mac and I stayed up watching some dating show until 4 am when we dragged ourselves to bed. We were up early, about 8am, so I was a bit tired and sick and had booked two snowboarding lessons back to back. Everyone left really early, I was one of the last to get going. I thought I had a 10:30am Day 1 lesson but it was really at 11:30 so I just hung out at the lodge. It was so warm and bright outside that I had to buy a pair of sunglasses cause I had forgotten mine in CT.

I also had the shop readjust my binding from Goofy to regular. I then went for my Day 1 lesson and 5 minutes into the lesson I knew I was definately goofy. (Hey, stop laughing!) Goofy means that you're right handed and you ride right foot forward (or left-handed and left hand forward) and regular means you're right handed and ride left foot forward (or vice versa for our southpaw friends).

I went back to the shop and they readjusted my bindings to goofy and that is how I did my Day 1 and Day 2 lessons. I had two Zone bars in my pocket. I ate one during the lesson. We never got up the lifts cause the lines were so long. The teacher said he'd never seen it so busy. It was probably the busiest day of the season.

Since we were covering a lot of stuff I'd already had twice before, I was psyched for my 1:30 Day 2 class. We only had 5 people. We ended up going to Tumbleweed, a beginner slope away from the bunny hill. Shorter lines. More forgiving degree of descent.

We took the lift up and came down just traversing. Second run I told the teacher I needed to drink some water. I was fading fast, tired and wicked thirsty. I hung out at the lodge for water and the second zone bar. Then sat outside waiting at the lifts for the instructor and group. They took a good amount of time to get down and when they did we went up a third time. This time I was pretty much on my own. I even got up from my butt BY MYSELF! It was awesome. I was toe side and heel side gliding across the mountain.

Others were carving and linking turns so the instructor said it was 3:30pm and end of the lesson but he would take whoever wanted up the slope for a last run. So I was up there, the other girl was already carving and linking turns so she practiced. So I had the instructor show me how holding my hands for the first two links and then I was doing it myself! I fell down a lot because now you have to learn how to transfer edges quickly, but at times I thought I was totally going to fall but I stayed upright. I also started learning how to throw my weight around. It was awesome. The teacher was really good, too. I can't wait to go again.

Dragged my stuff back to the car. I don't think I ever walked so slow. I felt like I was dragging 100 pounds of dead weight with me...but finally I threw my gear in the car, changed into my regular boots and then drove my car closer to the lodge. Parked and went into Cuzzins for happy hour! Brian and Patrick were leaving as I walked in and I told them to stick around for a drink. Of course, had my hot cocoa and peppermint schnapps. Aaaaah....

Soon enough, we saw Rachel who was looking for Deborah and we say Heather who was looking for Deborah. By then, Jason and the other housemates made it down to Cuzzins and we eventually got a table. We ran into another group of guys who had all these Aussie accents. It was funny.

I wanted to get back to the house to soak in the hottub, eat and then get ready to go out. So that is what I did. Hot tub, dinner. Then showered, dressed. Went to Dover bar and grill. Then off to Snowbarn. Jen Mac and I got separated from the group and we ended up going to Deacon's Den with another group of guys. Night ended up with hottubbing and falling asleep on the couches in the living room.

Got up at 9am Sunday, showered, repacked, loaded the cars. Had breakfast with Jen Mac at Dot's Diner and got home at 2:15pm. Avoided all the nasty rain/weather. Slept until 8:30am the following Monday. Then of course, up for the work week. A satisfying weekend.

Speed Dating Follow Up

I got my matches Monday morning from speed dating. I got 3 matches. I had put a Yes to matches with 5-6 guys so that is a 50% success rate. I did get yes from 9 other guys, but they were the ones I wasn't interested in. Like the separated guys. And the guys who went to the 42-56 speed dating event the week prior and showed up for the 26-42 speed dating event I went to. Hmmm...smells like eau de desperation.

Only one guy emailed me so far, this guy R. He admitted via email that he is not good with dating or meeting women. OKAY! Like you want to admit you're a total social travesty in the first few emails to a gal your supposedly attempting to woo?

He might think he's being open and honest. I think if you admit that you're socially challenged that baldly means subconciously, you don't want to attract women to you. Imagine this interchange at happy hour at a local watering hole:

R: Hi.
Girl: Hi. What's your name?
R: I'm Rob. I'm not too good with dating or meeting women.
Girl: Rrrrrrrright. I see my friends over there waving to me. I'll see you later. (walks away)

He pointed out that there were some older ladies, "Cougars", he called them at the event. I emailed him back laughing at his description of some of the women, and telling him he shouldn't admit he was not good at meeting women since I thought he was really nice. I then followed his tongue-in-cheek comments about some of my own about the male speed daters. He emails me back: "Wow. Do you have anything positive to say about Wednesday night?"

Why is it that when he makes funny/derogatory comments about women it's witty, but when I make them about the guys I'm being negative?

I don't get it. I sent him back an email that I was just following up to an email where he admitted he had no social clue with women, called the older ladies Cougars, and said the guy who organized the event was wierd. Isn't that negative?

Yeah, I think Mr. R is showing why annoyed women everywhere are giving him a wide berth.

Folks: This is supposed to be EASY. Like conversation should be easy. Getting along should be easy. Not easy like lazy folk easy, but easy like: "Wow, I feel like I've known you forever." or "You're so easy to talk to" or "You're so cool!". That kind of EASY. I've been there before. It seems like a distant dream of a land, but I know it exists. And I'm not going to be with a guy until he gives me a glimpse that he also knows there is such a land and wants to revisit it with me. Does this meandering thought process make sense?

On a positive note, a new guy from Match called me last night. S is cool. He snowboards. Almost compulsively. I don't know if that's good or bad but I guess we shall see if it ever percolates to a date. But he has a full time job, his own place and co-owns a VT ski house. At least he's not a snowboard bum. Or if he is, at least he isn't a TOTAL snowboard bum. haha We talked for about two hours and covered a wide gamut of interests: religion, snowboarding, sex and music. The conversation was EASY. He emailed me right after we hung up and asked me if I wanted to get together. I emailed him back that I would love to get together. We shall see...

Speed Dating Review

I just got home about twenty minutes ago from my first Speed Dating event. All in all, I would say it was fun! Everyone seemed friendly and making a strong effort to put their best foot forward.

I had 18 dates in about 3 hours. Each date was five minutes. It was good for the first 2 hours but then I began losing my steam. I'm sitting here at the computer feeling totally drained but I wanted to jot down my impressions while it was still fresh in my memory.

Some guys were busy shooting you so many questions you felt like you were on a kamikaze interview. I pretty much just winged it. I talked up the guys, asked them a few questions and just got them rolling and let it go wherever it went. I didn't always find out major specifics...like jobs, age, etc. but I got an impression of their sense of humors and personalities.

I had 6 or 7 Yes's. That means I found 6-7 guys interesting enough that I would like to continue a conversation with them. The ones that come to mind as memorable was the hilarious Matt who had dark hair, expressive eyes and a great smile. There was the cute hockey player with the dark curly hair that I'm blanking on for his name. There was Andrew P. or C. who was hot, a lawyer and seemed like someone dragged him along. There was a couple of other guys that I thought were really funny but like I said, they all blur together at the end.

There was a couple of guys there who were separated with kids. I don't know why the heck they are there if they're really not single. The guys with kids were really nice, but I would never date a guy with kids. Not at this point. Too much drama.

A majority of the guys there were really outgoing and friendly, and there was the handful that it was painfully obvious why they were single. Was it the engineer who only talked about his fascination with computers and old cars? Yeah, he wasn't very plugged into knowing how to wow the females. There was another older artist guy who seemed to stare at your chest and face. Like he was undressing you with his eyes. Kind of reminded me of the way a convict after a 26 year sentence would look at a female. Very icky. There was a few older slick willies who I think were much older than the 42 year old cut off age that just seemed a bit too practiced and polished in their compliments and winning smiles. The hot lawyer was a total dick. He just sat there, his body language totally read that he had little interest in being there and even littler interest in getting to know you.

The females of the group were interesting. I got the emails from three women there and we talked about doing a girls night out. Over all, I think speed dating is a great way to meet other women who are in the same situation: single and want to go out and potentially meet single men.

There were the "piranhas": the females with an agenda. You know the ones I mean. The ones who keep not-as-hot girlfriends around because they make them look really good in comparison. They sleep with their friends' boyfriends for no other reason other to prove they can and they are alpha female. They are the women any smart woman keeps away from her men and don't socialize with unless they want a Jerry Springer drama on their hands.

We had a "piranha" at the speed dating event: an older lady who looked like she had just gotten off her shift of working at the Clinique counter at Filene's. She was all made up, and her hair wall all curled up. She was busy winning all the men's attention for by being faux and super flirtatious. During the pizza break, she was sitting in one guy's lap and had another guy caress her rump. Hmmmmm.

We're supposed to get an email by Sunday night to find out who we have expressed an interest in and they have expressed an interest in us, too. In essence, a "match".

Speed Dating 1/25

Yes. I'm going to a speed dating event. ALONE.

Have I taken leave of my senses? I don't know...but the whole match.com thing is getting stale. After giving my number to five guys who asked for it and have never called, after talking to two guys on the phone who were totally tweaked the wrong way, and one great first date with a guy I haven't heard from in a week, it's time to shake things up a bit and see what falls where.

Karmically, I'm looking to upset the proverbial karmic apple cart. I just hope I don't walk in and every guy there is a total loser. Keep your fingers crossed for me and wish me good dating luck/karma.

At This Party

Scrawl the following poem by Hafiz (translated by Daniel Ladinsky) in courthouse lavatories, on playground walls, and through e-mail lists:

AT THIS PARTY

I don't want to be the only one here
Telling all the secrets --

Filling up all the bowls at this party,
Taking all the laughs.

I would like you
To start putting things on the table
That can also feed the soul
The way I do.

That way
We can invite

A hell of a lot more
Friends.

Back in the Saddle - Date #1

So, I've gotten to a point where I have realized that I would really appreciate having a good man in my life. I've had these revelations at other times, but I think now I realize that at 32, I need to figure out what it is I really want in a guy and go find him.

So, to aid in my pursuit of adding a quality man to the play list of my life, I subscribed to match.com. I've been on and off the online dating web sites for several years, trying Yahoo! personals, eHarmony and match.com. You can post profiles for free, but in order to communicate with other people, you need to pay the $$$$. So, I paid for a 3-months subscription at the start of December.

My attitude going into this stint on match.com is to take it slow. I also stated this in my profile. Other things I mentioned in my profile that I hope will filter out some sketchy guys are that I'm not looking for a casual fling and that when the time and person is right, I look forward to being married and having a family. I think that is a good way to tell men who might be checking me out.

I update my profile weekly by telling what is going on that week/weekend. I've gotten some pretty good responses and a lot of the men fit into the categories of the type of guy I'm seeking: Single, 27-37, no kids, employed, decent looking and active. So I feel that my profile is working to weed out most guys who don't fit my stats.

Of course, you still get the wierdos who think your preferences don't apply to them. They even TELL you they read your profile! If they really READ my profile, they wouldn't be contacting me at all. They would know that they won't get a match. But they still email. Who? There's the 52 year old high school counselor who looks 68. And the guy with 3 kids and has no time to date. And the guy who's profile is nothing more than how busy he is with work and has no social life. If you can't create a good life on your own, how do you think adding a woman to the mix will help?

So after reading all this, you must be wondering...WHAT ABOUT THE DATE?

Well, I did have my first date. His name is Chris. We'd been emailing and talking on the phone for 3 or 4 weeks. We originally had our first date two weeks beforehand but I canceled when I got sick with a cold. So we rescheduled for this past Thursday.

Chris invited me to dinner at Agave's at 8pm. I've been to this place before and always enjoy it. We met at the door and he looked like his pictures! Thank God!

Anyone who has online dated know that this is always the first test: do they look like their pictures? With many online daters guilty of posting pictures from 5-10-15-20 years ago (depending on age) of their slimmer trimmer and younger days, it's nerve wracking to meet in person and see that they lost all their hair and that their waist line has expanded by 6-8 inches. For me, if they look nothing like their pictures, it's a done deal. There will never be a second date. And the first date will be very short. Misrepresentation by putting up old pictures is equivalent to lying in my book. And who wants to start anything with a liar?

Chris is a cute guy. So that much was established in the first 30 seconds. The rest of the night was to determine if his personality was as nice.

We had dinner and drinks. It was really nice. Conversation flowed and he is very friendly. Laughs and smiles a lot. Found out over dinner that his family and sibling live in the Hartford area. He is one of 5 or 6 siblings. He was in the Navy for five years and lived out on the west coast. He's back here in CT and is roommates with is brother.

To tell you the truth, much of dinner is a blur, but I think that is sometimes the case when dates are really relaxed and just have a good flow to them. I remember what I ordered (the mussells are excellent). The bill came. And that is always akward. I like a guy to treat, at least on the first date, but at some point, when you're online dating, the first date isn't a date, just a meeting. If you get asked out again, then it's a date. It's wierd. Everyone has their own way of working it. Causes for some odd moments at times.

We continued talking with the bill at our elbows. I wasn't going to reach for it. I wanted to see what he would do. I think he expected to stay at Agave's for another drink but conversation steered towards going to check out some other places that I haven't been to yet, so he grabbed for the check. I had my wallet in hand and asked how much my half was but he insisted on treating. That was very nice of him. I told him since he bought dinner I would buy drinks and he kind of waved it off.

We took the Hartford Star Shuttle to the new convention center and Marriot. The place was beautiful. It was my first time there and it reminds me of the hotels in Vegas. We planned on going to Crush, this cool new bar in the Marriot. We got there and they were charging a $15 cover charge on a Thursday night! Why? Because they had a "light show". Are you kidding me? This is Hartford, not NYC! And a light show?! I'll pay 15 bucks for a good live band, but not a bunch of lights flashiing on the walls and ceilings. And there was practically no one in the bar. No thanks.

We walked back up to 960 Main Street. It's the same building that Capital Community College is housed in. There are two new places in there that I haven't been to: Mezzanine and Room 960. We went to Mezzanine first and that place is very cool. It's like someone really tricked out rec room with great lights, tables, chairs and couches. It didn't feel like a bar, it was definately a lounge. Walked in and this nice lady all dolled up a la 40's style asked us what we'd like to drink. It felt like a private cocktail party. We sat down and she went over their wine list. We got to sample 4 wines between the two of us before we settled on a glass each. We sat there and it was nice...quiet jazz in the back ground. People laughing and chatting softly in small groups scattered throughout the space. I'd definately go back there again. Chris and I chatted about work, he told funny stories and I told dirty jokes. It's pretty nice when people don't seem hung up on making cemented first impressions. Someone non-judgemental is a definately requirement in any guy I end up with. At least so far, it seems that Chris may be this type of person.

We stopped into Room 960. Again, pretty dead. It is very NYC loft apartmentish. Pretty cool but suprisingly small space. I'd check it out again if I have the chance.

We ended up at Vaughn's. Another bar I hadn't been to yet. Very Irish Pub atmosphere. I ended up having an Irish Coffee and Chris helped himself to draft. I put down my credit card to open a tab but Chris again paid. He actually paid for the whole evening. He said that people at work call him the rock star...cause he tours a bunch of different places when he goes out. He pointed out that he had a slight unibrow (like 5 hairs!)...and I told him that he could just wax it. He said he'd never do that...There was a bit of good-natured ribbing and a little flirting. Just enough to make it fun and laugh. We checked the time and it was 1 a.m.! The time really did fly!

Chris walked me to my car. Quite the gentleman. Gave me a nice hug and I gave him a kiss on the cheek.

I emailed him when I got home that I had a good time. I knew he was gone to NYC the next day but I got an email back from him today that he'd like to go out again. So, hey...we shall see what happens!

Ladies Night Out 1/20

So, I was talking a few months back to some of the people at work and the idea came up we should have a Ladies Night out. So, when push came to shove, we came up with some dates, settling on Friday, 1/20.

I kind of fell into the "organizer" role so I picked the place, Black Eyed Sally's, and made reservations for dinner. They have great live acts and the Savage Brothers were playing.

It was an awesome night. Lucy Hurston (sociology prof and author) brought her digital camera so there is digital documentation of the evening. I don't know if that's good because we were hamming it up all night and of course yours truly was hamming it up the most. So there's pics of me doing all these silly things and people at work are going to get them. Eeesh!

But what was amazing was that everyone in our group of 11 gals out for the night danced. Everyone had a great time, loved the food and digged the band. So I have to say, it was a succesful evening.

When the band took a break at 11pm, most of the women (married/older) went home. It was just Melissa, Del and me so we decided to go to La Casona. It's the salsa/latin dance mecca of Hartford and I hadn't been yet. We ended up going and it was pretty cool. I definately was in the minority, but everyone was really friendly but a bit reserved. I think that is just the culture. If they don't know you, they are a bit reserved. I always thought I was short at 5'4". And with my heels on, I must have been hovering at 5'7" last night. And I towered over EVERYONE. I've never seen so many short people in one location. It was kind of funny when you get leered at by men that don't even meet your shoulder. It's like...are you for real? Midget men do not turn me on.

Needless to say, I want to take salsa lessons. I danced with this cute older guy named Carlos. I told him I was a beginner but he was really friendly and we danced probably 4 or 5 songs. The thing I noticed that was different from the swing dancing I've done is that the leaders don't really look where they send out the followers (ladies). I got knocked into and stepped on so many times it was kind of ridiculous. But no one seemed to mind, actually it seemed they expected it. I think if I danced with a more seasoned dancer, it probably wouldn't happen so often.

Great night. My feet are killing me. I haven't had a late night out like that in forever. It was pretty damn cool.

Carpe Diem

DEAR ABBY: My story is a little different from "Stressed Out's," but it applies. I live near a beautiful trail in California. If you take the path to the left, it takes about an hour and a half to walk, and it is beautiful and peaceful. My husband always wanted me to walk that way. On the occasions when I agreed to walk, I'd insist we go the opposite way, which took only 45 minutes and wasn't nearly as pretty. I had too much to do and not enough time to do it, considering the kids, the errands, the house, etc.

Now I walk that trail the long way almost every day, but I'm doing it alone. My husband died two years ago. Now I ask myself what was so important I couldn't take the extra 45 minutes to go the longer and more beautiful way with him. It's the little things I miss the most, Abby. Life is so short, and there are no guarantees. -- ALONE NOW IN CALIFORNIA

First Light

Well, I'm just starting to see the light of the fast-approaching morning sun. It's that time in the morning when there is a hush and everything is a heavy and somnalent grey.

I've been fighting this tenacious cold. I thought I had it beat last week and felt fine this weekend only to wakeup this Monday morning feeling like utter crap. As the day progressed, I felt more and more icky, to the point where I had to cancel my date that night. I was in bed by 6:30pm and woke up around 11pm. I couldn't sleep, I had a slight fever and it wouldn't go away.

At about 3:30am, I was reading True Confessions of a Heartless Girl by Martha Brooks. And outside my bedroom windows I hear this big thump. Then hissing, growling and howling. Appears a pair of coyotes had cornered a poor house cat. This went on for about 10 minutes, with my hair standing on end cause it sounded like 3 or 4 coyotes out there...and the poor cat hissing and crying. It finally ended but it was right outside my window. Needless to say, I could not fall back asleep.

I have asked my landlord to put up brighter yard lights. I don't even have a yard light in the front of my house so I travel about a good 25 feet right in total darkness by the garbage cans to get to my front door. In the last few weeks, I have noticed dark forms slinking back from the yard to the woods bordering the yard, and it's freaking me out.

I'm going to make another request that he strengthen the lights in the driveway, breezeway and put one on my front walk way. This is ridiculous and a hazard to my safety that there is not good light source to scare animals away from the front path of my house.

New Year's 2006 @ Mt. Snow - Friday

So yes, Mt. Snow was a fun if somewhat wierdly eventful weekend.

After Lisa stressing that we needed to leave by 7:30am, she forgot to set her alarm and didn't roll into Bolton until about 10ish. Regina had already gotten to my house and we just chilled out. When list got there, we got her new BLING-mobile, a 2003 Lexus RX -XXX SUV, packed with three gals' worth of clothes, high heels, makeup, food, booze and snow gear.

We rode up and made good time. We stopped at the Vermont Country Deli right off exit 2 (off-91). It's really a little piece of heaven. It has the BEST sandwiches...and really expensive deli but you know what...it's worth the splurge. Never mind that they have large cookies the size of small dinner plates. Mama mia!

Since I got like 3 hours of sleep the night before, we got to the house, unloaded and I crashed for the afternoon. I got woken up at about 6ish. The other gals (Regina and Lisa) had already taken showers. By the time we got ready, it was 9 pm. Where the hell does time go when you're in VT?

We went out to the Silo for dinner and drinks. It was pretty tame. For some reason, it was very family orientated for New Year's! Well, after waiting til 11pm to see if the Silo would liven up, we left for Deacon's Den. After a quick walk through at Deacon's and determination that it was indead dead, we went to the Snow Barn.

Finally! There was some people. There was the corniest DJ's up on the stage, a bunch of four wannabe gangster types just standing up there like doofuses while their boy spun his records. The first hour was painfully full of old Michael Jackson songs. I was ready to throw a bar stool at the stage when I decided it was best to make a request. I asked for my old standby's: Sexual Healing and LL Cool J's Doin' It. The DJ's dorky short white friend came over and said he had neither. My respect for the DJ went below subzero. Come-on! Sexual healing? What ijiot...doesn't have sexual healing in his repertoire? But he has all of lil Michael Jackson's hits? L-O-S-E-R!

We had our first round of drinks, and somehow a shot and a martini just was not creating a dent in my sobriety. So about 30 minutes later, we went for another round of shots and martinis. Finally I felt a bit more buzzed and the DJ didn't sound so dorky anymore.

None of our housemates showed up at Snowbarn as promised. They were too busy getting drunk at the house. During the course of the night, Lisa flashed her golden dance moves and smile and all the boys of course came in droves. We had two greasy guys come up and tell Lisa "Did anyone ever tell you how sexy you are". Lisa responded simply "Yes." Then they walked away. I think most of the boys were intimidated. Later in the night, the same two greasy boys came up to Regina and I and told us we were the two lucky ladies they had selected to take back to their place for wine by the fireplace. I told them that we had wine, a fireplace, a 7 person hot tub, and a kegorator full of Magic Hat #9 back at our place. And WE were doing the selection of who was coming back with us. The got a little green around the gills and quickly turned tail and ran away.

I ran across Dennis of this pretty cool web site. He looked much shorter and smaller in person than he did on the web site. Actually, I say he was 5'4 and 100 lbs soaking wet.

By the end of the night, I had met a cool group of guys from Quebec. It was very fun to talk to them. This nasty short guy (5'2") from Brooklyn in a black leather jacket and Run-DMC hat came over to talk to Regina and then talked to me. I was in a very festive mood, and when I'm buzzed, I'm miss social and flirtatious. I told him his hat was cute (so not true), hugged him and wished him a good New Year's. He pretty much stalked me and then tried to cut in on my dance with the cute guy from Quebec. I was not amused, he grabbed my arm, and I told him to piss off. Do some guys not get the clue?

Went back to the house with four guys in tow for some hottubing. Mike told them they couldn't park in the street and the three Quebec guys took off like a bunch of sissies. They thought the guys in the house were our boyfriends and they would get jumped. HUH?

Needless to say, Lisa's invitee, Patrick, stayed the night. The other housemates giggled when they found him passed out on a couch in the living room. Yes, Lisa, there is a Hook up god.